The One Where My Husband Saves the Shopping Day

Why Shopping Drains Me

We recently went shopping. We don’t do that very often, for one basic reason: I don’t like shopping. And my husband isn’t fond of it either. To clarify, I mean shopping for clothes and shoes.

I want to like it - I really do. In fact, for the first few minutes, I actually enjoy it. I’m excited at the thought of finding something nice that fits me and makes me happy to wear it. I know what I want and need, and I set out on a mission to find it.

But then, shopping exhaustion kicks in. After a while, my back starts to hurt, and I don’t want to walk around the shops anymore. I get tired, frustrated, and overwhelmed by the crowds and decision fatigue (so many things to choose from and try on!). I want a drink, I want a snack. Sometimes I even bring snacks and water with me, but even then, I’m still frustrated - just maybe a little less hangry (hungry and angry, a dangerous combination).

Also, I don’t really understand fashion. I’m the type of woman who prefers simple, comfortable clothes. Of course, I want to look nice, but I like things that are straightforward. I don’t like ruffles, wild patterns, or clothes that are too tight. How about something flattering and in just one color - maybe not orange? But no, that hardly seems to exist in shops. And if it does, it’s usually very expensive, and I’m not willing to pay that much for a piece of clothing; I have other priorities. I’ve also realized that these days, a higher price doesn’t even guarantee better quality. It just costs more, maybe because of the brand?

My Secret Weapon: Husband’s Superpower

I don’t have an eye for the right things. But my husband has a superpower, which means I’m never going shopping without him again. He just walks in, spots something that would look good on me (often something I’d never even pick), finds the right size, and brings it to me in the changing room. It’s a win-win: I get nice clothes that fit and make me feel good, and he doesn’t have to endure my frustration as I wander around aimlessly. That’s what I call five-star shopping service.

The Joy of Secondhand Finds

I’m also the type of woman who loves secondhand things. I have a friend who doesn’t like anything pre-owned - clothes, food, anything. That’s her choice, but I honestly don’t know what I’d do if I couldn’t get clothes secondhand. I love finding things for free or at a lower price, and I don’t have to spend hours shopping for them.

I’m fortunate to be tiny and thin, which means I can get things from people who outgrow them, or even from kids who have grown up. I’m not kidding - the amount of kids’ sportswear I have is impressive. It’s all high-quality, which I never had before because it’s usually expensive. Now I get to wear it for free, and I’m thrilled. Recently, I got a jacket and ski pants from my husband’s cousin because she outgrew them. She’s in high school and wore them when she was younger, but her body changed (she looks like a woman, while I have the body of a child, even though I’m about ten years older than her…). They’re fantastic, and her mom offered me more clothes because she saw how perfectly they fit. I love these situations.

I used to love secondhand shops, too. However, it’s been a long time since I last visited one, and I’ve heard they’ve changed. They used to offer genuinely good-quality secondhand clothes at low prices, but now it’s hard to find quality anywhere - even in secondhand shops, there’s a lot of low-quality stuff.

I’m not a big online shopper, but I’ve tried it. However, I only order from shops where I can also go in person to try things on. A lot of people I know order loads of stuff online, try it at home, and then return what doesn’t fit. But I don’t want to deal with the hassle of sending things back (even though they say it’s easy, it still makes me nervous). Still, the option to choose what I want online and then try it in-store is great.

Why I Buy Shoes In-Person

One thing I insist on buying in person is shoes. I don’t understand how people can buy shoes online. Every foot is different, every shoe is different - even within the same brand. I’m all about comfort, and I’ve seen people wear shoes just because they look good, but that’s not me. So, we usually go to the shop of a brand we know is comfortable and choose there. We do this maybe twice a year, only when we need new shoes.

My mum introduced me to a brand I hadn’t heard of before: Altra. Usually, I need to come to ideas on my own and warm up to them slowly, but last year I finally went with her to buy Altra shoes so she could show me how amazing they are. And honestly, she was right. They’re excellent running shoes (don’t get me wrong - I hate running, but did you know running shoes are some of the most comfortable shoes for walking, too? I’ve worn almost nothing else for years). What I love most is that they’re shaped differently than normal shoes - they have a wider toe box, which gives your toes room to spread out (their “FootShape” feature). They look a bit like barefoot shoes, if you’ve ever seen those. They optimize natural stability and are much better for foot health. And, of course, they’re extremely comfortable.

Actually, I have a new pair of Altra shoes. They’re blue - although I would have preferred black ones so I could easily wear them with anything. But these were the most comfortable, and the only other color available was orange, I think. Plus, I had a special discount I won at work, so I went for them. They definitely steal attention! People often ask me where I got them, say they look interesting and stylish, and even ask for recommendations. That almost never happens to me, and it makes me happy. I was a bit worried they might be too blue for office work, but it turns out they’re just fine.

Altra toe box - Source

5 Ways to Make Shopping Less Stressful for Introverts

Shopping can be overwhelming for introverts and sensitive souls, but a few mindful strategies can make the experience much more manageable - and even enjoyable.

1. Shop During Off-Peak Hours

• Visit stores early in the morning or late in the evening to avoid crowds and noise.
• Weekdays are usually quieter than weekends.

Introverts often feel drained by crowds, noise, and overstimulation. Shopping during quieter times - such as early mornings, late evenings, or weekdays - means fewer people, less noise, and a calmer atmosphere. This allows you to move at your own pace, think clearly, and avoid the sensory overload that comes with busy shopping centers.

2. Make a List and Set Intentions

• Write down exactly what you need before you go.
• Set a clear intention for your trip (e.g., “I’m just looking for a new pair of comfortable shoes”).

Having a clear plan reduces decision fatigue and anxiety. When you know exactly what you’re looking for, you can focus your energy and avoid wandering aimlessly (which often leads to feeling overwhelmed). Setting an intention - like “I’m only looking for comfortable shoes” - gives you permission to say no to distractions and unnecessary purchases, helping you stay grounded and purposeful.

3. Bring a Supportive Companion

• Shop with someone who understands your needs and won’t pressure you.
• A trusted friend or partner can help with decisions and make the experience less stressful.

Shopping can feel isolating or stressful for introverts, especially when faced with too many choices or pushy salespeople. Having a trusted friend or partner with you provides emotional support, helps with decision-making, and can even make the experience more fun. The right companion understands your boundaries, respects your pace, and helps you feel more confident.

4. Take Breaks and Practice Self-Care

• Plan for short breaks - grab a coffee, sit down, or step outside for fresh air.
• Bring snacks and water to stay comfortable and avoid becoming hangry.

Introverts need time to recharge, especially in stimulating environments. Taking short breaks gives your mind and body a chance to reset. Bringing snacks and water helps you avoid becoming hangry (hungry + angry), which can amplify stress and frustration. Prioritizing self-care during shopping trips helps you stay calm and comfortable.

5. Embrace Online and Secondhand Options

• Use online shopping for research, then try items in-store if possible.
• Explore secondhand shops or community swaps for unique finds without the pressure of mainstream retail.

Online shopping and secondhand stores can offer a more relaxed, pressure-free experience. Browsing online lets you take your time, avoid crowds, and make decisions in the comfort of your own space. Secondhand shops often have a quieter, more laid-back atmosphere, and you may find unique items without the overwhelm of big-box retailers. Both options allow you to honor your energy levels and personal preferences.

How do you make shopping more comfortable and less stressful?

Share your favorite strategies or stories in the comments below - I’d love to hear from you!