The One Where I Try to Gain Weight

I know this might be a little controversial for some people, but I wanted to share my story with my weight. Mind you, it’s far from over - actually, it’s more like just beginning - but I’d like to explain the other point of view, the opposite side of what many people experience.

Yes, I’m trying to gain weight.

Let’s go back in time. Ever since I was a baby, I’ve been small and thin. My sister too. We still are (though my sister has a more “normal” healthy body, which I envy). It runs in our family - we’ve always been thin. It’s nothing strange, probably just fast metabolism and good genes. For as long as I can remember, I could eat anything and still stay slim. But here’s the interesting part: you’d probably think people would think it looks good and wouldn’t comment on it. Well, you’d be wrong.

Basically, the world is (and always has been) divided in two. Yes, there are people who genuinely think it looks good. A friend once told me she wished she had legs like mine. This particular friend has an almost perfect body - she’s a dancer, really fit, and looks amazing. I still can’t believe she’d want to look like me. Also, while it’s natural for me to be this thin, it probably wouldn’t be healthy for someone else to try to achieve it. I am, honestly, too thin. And then there’s the other half of people, who aren’t so nice. I’ve always been told things like, “You look bad, eat something,” or “Why are you so thin? You should eat more,” or some variation of that. I’m sure some of them (like my family) mean well and care about my health. But they still say it, even though I’m an independent (well… most of the time) adult woman with my own home and husband. I think I know how to feed myself, and their comments don’t help. As for other people? I still don’t understand their reasons. Are they jealous? Are people just used to commenting on others’ bodies? Is that normal? Why do they do it? I read somewhere (probably on social media) that you shouldn’t say anything to someone if they can’t fix it in under a minute or two. Like, if they have an untied shoelace or spinach in their teeth - sure, tell them. But don’t point out things about their body or anything they can’t change instantly. I loved that advice and try to live by it.

Honestly, I haven’t seen nearly as many people comment on others needing to lose weight. If I order a smaller portion at a restaurant, I become the topic of conversation for the next five minutes. Someone else orders four big courses and nobody says a word. It doesn’t feel fair. I’m on a mission to teach people around me not to comment on anyone’s eating habits. Am I successful? A bit, finally. For example, my colleagues have finally stopped doing it - I suspect they’ve just gotten used to it, and now it’s just part of my personality for them.

As I said earlier, for most of my life I could eat anything (I used to eat six times a day because I was always hungry) and still be really thin. But that changed around university, when stress started to interfere. It was still manageable; I just couldn’t eat around major exams, for example - but I’d eat afterwards and so on. I didn’t think much of it.

But the stress kept growing, especially after I finished my studies and started working full-time. I ate less, and for longer periods of time. Then, several huge events happened in my life - getting engaged and planning a wedding, changing jobs, buying a house, and applying for a mortgage (see more about the mortgage here: The One Where We Found Our Home). They all happened within just a few months, which might not seem like a big deal, but it was for me. There were days when I could only manage a small dinner after barely eating at all at work because of stress. My colleagues noticed pretty quickly, and of course, there were comments-which didn’t help (we have lunch together as a team every day, so it’s hard to skip it repeatedly without a good reason). That wasn’t good. It was also the time I started therapy (finally-one of the best decisions I’ve made; see more here: The One Where I Start Therapy).

Surprisingly, the human body is amazing. I went almost two years like this and it seemed like it didn’t affect me - of course, it was a bit visible, but since I was already quite thin, only people who knew me well (like my husband) could tell. I was still doing sports and trying to do it all - not a good idea, as I realized in therapy and after a lot of reflection. And then it hit me. Almost suddenly, I felt different - much weaker, with worse period symptoms (PMS, cramps), headaches, my physical condition went downhill, I was tired all the time, and I couldn’t do much. I can’t believe my body survived like that for so long. It was hard, and it still is. It started this winter (around December 2024), and it’s still ongoing. I suspect it’ll take a long time to recover.

To get better, I need to start gaining weight. That’s the main problem for me (always has been) - I probably have deficiencies in all vitamins, minerals, and everything else. When I went to the doctor (rehabilitation, even before that), she could immediately tell something was wrong and that my muscles had atrophied. She even told me I shouldn’t exercise at all until I gain the weight back, which surprised me. But how do I start? Even though I’m proud to say I eat much better now-usually able to have breakfast and lunch at work, and sometimes even a snack (even if they’re small portions, like kid-sized, I’m still glad I’m eating at all - small steps) - I need to increase my calorie intake to more than my body usually needs, and I’m not able to do that yet. But I’m working on it.

The funny thing is, it’s not easy to find out how to gain weight in a healthy way. It feels like 99% of the internet is about losing weight, and when I try to Google the opposite, there’s just generic advice like “eat more,” “eat more frequently,” “eat healthy fats,” and “eat a protein-rich diet.” That’s like… you don’t say. When I started, I thought, sure, that makes sense - let’s Google some protein-rich recipes. And guess what? Almost all of them are for people trying to lose weight. Great. I know I can’t be the only one facing this problem. Where are you, people? But I guess it’s much more profitable to write and sell content about being fit and thin by losing weight. A bit frustrating.

But we’re working on it. I have an amazing husband who cooks (see more here: The One Where Cooking Isn’t My Thing), and we (well, he) make lunch boxes for work, which makes me much less stressed about food - I know he makes what I want and like, he’s a great cook, and if I don’t eat it all, I just take it home (I hate wasting food, or anything really). We even bought protein powder recently, and as soon as I find a nice and easy recipe, I’m going to start protein baking. Let’s gain weight!

Debunking Myths About Weight and Health

Many people believe that being thin automatically means being healthy, and that gaining weight is always bad. These ideas are not only misleading but can also be harmful. Here are some common myths about weight and health-and the facts that challenge them:

Myth 1: “Thin equals healthy.”

Being thin does not guarantee good health. People who are underweight can face serious health risks, including weakened immunity, nutrient deficiencies, and hormonal problems. Health is about more than just appearance; it includes nutrition, mental well-being, and physical fitness.

Myth 2: “Everyone wants to lose weight.”

While weight loss is a common goal in popular culture, many people struggle with being underweight and want or need to gain weight for their health. Both challenges deserve understanding and support.

Myth 3: “You can tell someone’s health just by looking at them.”

A person’s size or shape doesn’t reveal their overall health. Thin people can have unhealthy lifestyles or medical conditions, just as people in larger bodies can be fit and healthy.

Myth 4: “It’s easy to change your weight if you just try hard enough.”

Weight is influenced by genetics, metabolism, stress, medical issues, and more. For some, gaining weight is as difficult as losing it is for others.

Myth 5: “Commenting on someone’s body is helpful.”

Unsolicited comments about weight - positive or negative - can be hurtful and may reinforce harmful stereotypes. It’s best to focus on supporting healthy habits rather than judging appearances.

The Bottom Line:

Health comes in many shapes and sizes. Challenging these myths helps create a more inclusive and supportive environment for everyone, regardless of where they are on their health journey.